Hotcocks and Apps

British man Daniel Cooper was recently arrested for drunkenly trying to have sex with a car. Witnesses spotted him earlier in the evening, simulating sex on the floor of a kebob shop, bumping and grinding against the counter, and peeing in the street. He was finally arrested upon mounting a blue 4x4 Land Rover Discovery. Said Cooper in his defense, "But it has 4-wheel drive!"

A recent study out of the University of Illinois has found that girls are committing dating violence as much as boys. The study followed 625 students in grades 5 through 7, following them for four years, tracking their physical and emotional abuse between partners. "Dating violence" partly consisted of keeping track of dating partners, and any sort of physical abuse acts, such as slapping and biting.

North Carolina governor Pat McCory, who signed a restrictive abortion bill into law at the end of July, offered up a plate of cookies to a group of predominately female demonstrators outside of his mansion this week. McCory went outside the gates, offering the group cookies, saying, "These are for you. God bless you, God bless you, God bless you." Originally he planned to bring them a cake saying "Sorry I control your uterus," but it had just been so long since he'd had oatmeal raisin. 

According to an article on livescience.com, nearly 1 in 10 Americans have used their Smartphone during sex.
Here are some of the news apps available to enhance your sex life:

"Spreadsheets" is an app designed to track your sexual performance, by how loud your sex is, duration, and average thrusts per minute. Because nothing is sexier than when a man stops having sex with you to make sure his phone is close enough to his penis.

"Kindu" collects answers from 600 questions about kinks and fetishes, and matches up which ones both partners have answered "definitely" or "open to discussion." This app may also be applied to whether or not you both want kids, or want to be cremated.

The "Kahnoodle" app offers "push notifications to initiate sex," and reminds you to do thoughtful things for your partner. The app also reminds you where you met her and what her name is again.